Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
