If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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