why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
