I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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