Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
