its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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