If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
