you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
