Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
