and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
