Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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