Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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