are you so shy because you have an std?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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