and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
