i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
