so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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