thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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