let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
