Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i've created a new STD.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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