he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
