Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
