I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The Olympian is in my bed
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
