The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
