Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
