To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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