It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
