i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
