he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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