my sisters under your porch take her home
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
