i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
