Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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