arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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