the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
