Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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