I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think my moral compass just broke
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize