I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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