I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
