I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
