That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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