I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
