is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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