This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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