we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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