Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
