"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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