Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were trust falling into bushes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize