Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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