I'm so fucking centered right now
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
