think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize