white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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