I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize