Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
