I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
