We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
