I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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