so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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