The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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