If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize