with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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