Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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