so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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