Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
