I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
