bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize