you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize