No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
