how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
