Sponge bath it is.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
