If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize