so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
