dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
