im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
