Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
