What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
