Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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