We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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