google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
