Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
