we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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