U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
