my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
