That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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