Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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