you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
