The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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